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News and Notes!
The Naked
Truth Alliance is a virtual support community aimed at
helping you live your naked truth. Dr. Allan will be a guest presenter
for their monthly teleconference. If you are interested in more info,
follow the above link. The call is on Feb. 21st at noon.
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Greetings,
Happy
Valentine's Day to all our readers. I hope that this day is a wonderful
time with the one you love. Enjoy dinner together, go out and dance,
take a walk (I realize it may be cold, but there is no such thing as
bad weather, only bad gear!).
I also want
to take this time to welcome all our new readers. We hope you enjoy the
adventure as we journey together towards a marriage full alive.
Keep
exploring!
Corey
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Tips
to keep the marriage rockin'!
Each week
there will be some tips, suggestions, or ideas intended to help keep
your marriage rockin'.
This week's
tip:
Play a game together. This could be
a board game, cards, Wii, or something else. Get the competitive juices
flowing.
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Marital
Flow: Simple and Healthy Ways to Deeper Connection in Marriage.
A concept has
been floating around the productivity blog world lately called flow.
Basically, it’s losing yourself in whatever you’re doing - being so
caught up and focused on the task at hand the world fades away. During
these magical times a tremendous amount of work is accomplished.
Can flow be
experienced in the marital relationship? My belief: yes.
There are
times when you are so in tune with your partner the world is blocked
out and the moment’s awareness is heightened. These times can be
referred to as marital bliss.
While finding
the marital flow is difficult, since you must rely on another person to
join in, it is possible and not just by chance. The goal of
being in the flow is to be fully present in the moment. Lost in the
experience, but aware of everything going on between you and your
partner.
Being in the
moment is beneficial at any time in marriage. It helps you be a better
husband/wife, father/mother, lover, friend. You are there to fully
listen and be with your partner. You bond.
While this
connection takes practice and effort, the most difficult area to
experience this is during sex. Surprised? Let me explain. During sex we
are the closest we can be to another person, yet we may remain miles
apart. Dreaming about another person. The workday. To-do lists. We may
be totally disconnected from our lover, except physically.
I realize that
being fully present during sex is similar to conquering Everest, but it
is also the best place to experience heightened awareness, if you can
handle it. Due to the magnitude of being in the flow during sex, let’s
begin with ideas that can be practiced at anytime of the day. We’ll
conquer being in the flow during sex in part 2.
- Breathe deeply.
Take some time and simply breathe. Focus on your own rhythm. Slow down.
Relax. Meditate. Become aware of your thoughts, emotions, feelings at
the moment. If they are negative, spend some time searching out their
root, but not too much time. Only a few moments. This is not therapy.
Correct what you are able. Address the unfinished aspects of the
feelings or thoughts. In time you will be able to train yourself to
quickly do this allowing you more room for the positive side of things.
Both negative and positive are present in every situation. What you
seek, you shall find.
- Treat yourself gently.
We are often our own worst critic. As you explore your thoughts and
emotions, don’t beat yourself up over things from the past. Also don’t
obsess about things in the future. Simply bring them into your
awareness and gently let them leave, thus bringing yourself back to the
present.
- Treat your partner gently. Forgiveness
is a key component in any marriage. We all do stupid things. If
everything we did was held against us, we all would end up alone. If
there are areas of unfinished business between you, address them. This
will clear the way for greater connection.
- Exercise. A
healthy mind and body allows for greater connection and awareness. Take
care of yourself.
- Routines. Examine
the routine you follow throughout the week. How has your marriage
become routine? Initiate this discussion with your spouse in order to
find ways to break the routine if it’s not working. Face it, we all get
into routines. Use this fact to incorporate new aspects into your
marriage routine.
- Failures, no worries. When
you make a mistake, don’t fret. It’s part of the process. Forgive
yourself and keep going. Things in life that are of real value take
effort and practice. This helps make them all the more worthwhile.
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God Bless,
Marriage
Fully Alive® |
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