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News and Notes!
Resources are being created
in order to assist you and your spouse in the process of having a
marriage fully alive. Be sure to check them out here!
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Greetings,
So my wife
and I have been discussing the brevity of life recently. As many of you
know, we've had quite a few losses this past year. From my wife's
grandmother and her father, to both my grandparents all within a year.
And now her other set of grandparents are not doing well.
Fortunately
none of the relationships have been estranged and the time spent with
each of them before they passed allowed for some lasting memories. But
life still seems too short.
As you go
through this weekend, make the most of it with your family. Play in the
water with your kids. Talk with your spouse. Laugh. Learn to savor the
moments. Call extended family. Spend time with your dad. It is father's
day this weekend. Make new memories with him.
Corey
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Tips
to keep the marriage rockin'!
Each week
there will be some tips, suggestions, or ideas intended to help keep
your marriage rockin'.
This week's
tip:
Have a movie night with your spouse.
Spread out blankets and pillows on the floor.
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The 40-Day
Random Act of Kindness Experiement
The world in which we live is often
an isolated existence. Days can go by and no real meaningful contact
with another human happens. If we choose, even in our densely populated
cities, we can live life alone.
Even neighborhoods in the suburbs
allow for individual existence. In the part of Texas where I live, in
order to make the houses look better from the street, the trend is to
have alley entry homes. While this may take the eye-sore of the garage
door out of the picture, it takes the coming and going of people out as
well. You can now leave your house, get in your car, leave and return
without ever having interacted with the people you live amongst. And
when you get to work, you can disappear into an office or cubicle, thus
continuing an anonymous existence.
If you have times when you feel
isolated and alone, I'd like to offer a possible solution. For 40 days,
complete a random act of kindness each day for someone other than
family members. If you'd like to take this experiment to another level,
see if you can go 40 days in a row. Similar to the Complaint
Free Marriage Experiment, if you miss a day of kindness, you start
over at day one again.
What's the point of performing acts
of kindness for others?
Glad you asked. 
It makes the world a better place.
At the core, people are good. This part of us often seems to get
covered up by our fast paced, "make it on our own" lifestyles. When you
perform a kind act for someone, while you may help them feel better,
you'll feel better about yourself. You'll also connect with another
person for a brief moment, if not for longer. And if the other person
passes on the kindness, it can multiply exponentially.
A Starbucks recently experienced a
version of this. One morning, a person in the drive-thru kindly paid
for the next driver's coffee along with their own order. The next
driver continued the gesture and so on. Over two and half hours this
process was repeated.
Giving of ourselves is infectious.
When we give from the heart, we do
so out of a joy that springs forth whenever we willingly enrich another
person's life. This kind of giving benefits both the giver and
receiver. The receiver enjoys the gift without worrying about the
consequences that accompany gifts given out of fear, guilt, shame, or
desire for gain. The giver benefits from the enhanced self-esteem that
results when we see our efforts contributing to someone's well being. ~
Marshall Rosenberg
There is a great anecdote about
Gandhi: While boarding a moving train one day, one of Gandhi's shoes
slipped off and fell upon the track. As he was unable to retrieve it,
Gandhi - to the astonishment of his fellow travelers - calmly removed
his other shoe and threw it down the track to where the first had
landed. "The poor man who finds the shoe lying on the track," Gandhi
explained, "will now have a pair he can use."
My wife and I have already started.
I hope you'll join us and let us know how it's going.
Unsure how to get started? Here are
a few ideas to help:
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Write a note of appreciation to
your mailman
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Compliment a stranger sincerely
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Write a thank you note to someone
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Look for something around you
that can be fixed up, picked up, or attended ie, put shopping carts up,
pick up some trash laying around, pick up something that has fallen over
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Give a lottery ticket to a
stranger
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Send handmade cards or a letter
to someone you care for
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Write a note to management or
someone who has treated you nice while doing their job (waiter, clerk,
sales person...etc.)
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When you go somewhere to get or
do something, ask someone around you if you can pick up, drop off or do
something for them while you do
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Cut coupons out and leave them
at the grocer register for others
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Cut an article out of the
newspaper that would interest a friend and mail it to them.
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Leave have a nice day stickers
at a front desk
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Put together a writing kit with
stationery, envelopes and stamps, pen and give to hospital/nursing home
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Put a comment on someone's
webpage that you really like...... let them know you enjoy it
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Send a card to someone in the
military overseas
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Start a conversation up with a
co-worker that you don't know
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Leave something cheery or nice
for all your co-workers (in spring bag of seeds, fun post its, fun
office supplies)
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Put change in a row of vending
machines
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Visit a nursing home. Spend time
visiting with someone who doesn't get visitors
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Put something you no longer need
on Craig's list free spot for your area
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Leave something for someone at
an area where it most might be used, (lighter near smoking area, book
in reading area, umbrella near door on rainy day)
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Leave a book you have already
finished somewhere for someone else to read.
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Drop off a toy or game at a
hospital
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Drop off a toy or game at a
homeless shelter.
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At post office leave some extra
stamps at the stamp machine.
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Send a picture you have taken
which includes a friend and send it to them with a note remembering
when it was taken
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Buy a phone card and give to a
homeless shelter for them to give to someone.
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Open the phone book, pick a
name, and send them something (movie tickets, thank
you card, you are appreciated
card, book, etc.) anonymously.
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Take flowers to a hospital ward
and give them to someone who hasn't had any visitors.
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Take some cake, chocolates,
flowers etc. to the neighbors, or a senior citizen nearby
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Send someone a small gift
anonymously
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Make a cd of your favorite songs
and give to a friend
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Donate one hour of your time if
you offer a service for a living, or one product, or one seminar, or
one class, or just one of whatever it is that you do as a gift to
someone else.
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Invite someone who is alone over
for dinner.
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Share a comic strip or something
funny with someone else.
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Leave a chocolate for a
co-worker.
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Write a note, send a e-greeting
"just to say hello" to someone who might need a pick me up
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Visit hospitals with smiles,
treats and friendly conversation for patients.
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Send a thank you to the
employees at a hospital, or anywhere else that a cheerful thank might
add a smile
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Put a quarter in a parking meter
that has expired
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Write a thank-you note to a
person from your past who has made a difference in your life.
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Drop off a plant, flowers or
apple pie at a public service organization or your neighbors house.
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Send someone an animated
greeting card on the internet.
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Write a note to the boss of
someone who has helped you, praising the employee.
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Drop off teddy bear to police
department to give to traumatized children
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Copy a favorite recipe and give
it to someone
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Buy a copy of your favorite book
and donate it to your local library or hospital
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Write letters of appreciation to
groups who are helping the community, the environment, etc.
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Send a card to a friend or
relative you haven't seen for some time. Include a photo of yourself
and/or your family.
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Make a point of introducing
yourself to someone you see all of the time but never say hello to.
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Send an anonymous scratch card,
lottery or theater ticket to someone you know - or a gift voucher, a
funny card, a chocolate bar, or whatever you feel they would enjoy
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If you know someone who is
having a hard time financially, drop a $5, $10 or $20 note in an
envelope, disguise your writing or type the envelope, and mail it to
them.
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Offer to baby sit
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Donate clothes to goodwill
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Put change in a charity change
bottle
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Bring cookies or some snack to
work for office
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Drop off cookies at a random
establishment
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Tape some change to a payphone
with a card saying it is for whoever needs it
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Write anonymous, loving post-its
for strangers to find.
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Donate blood
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Pay for the toll for the car
behind you
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Help a neighbor, family member
weed or plant a garden.
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Mow someone's lawn, rake their
leaves or shovel their snow
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Leave a book at airport for
someone waiting to read
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Cook a family dish for a busy
mom/father so she/he can take a break for a night
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Pay for the meal of a person
sitting by themself when you are eating out
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Buy coffee for the person behind
you
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Volunteer time at a charitable
organization
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When you fill a click card for
free coffee, free gift, etc... give the card to someone
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If someone behind you in line at
the store has fewer items let them go ahead of you
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Help tutor a child
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Volunteer to read to children at
the library
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Offer to change oil, change
filter or such for a "non car" person
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Walk around a park or public
area picking up trash
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Get some groceries for a
financially struggling family
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When you go out to dinner order
a dessert to go and drop it off at a neighbors
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Clean up gravestones at a local
cemetery
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Buy something for a stranger
from their Amazon.com wishlist
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The marriage fully
alive team is here to assist you and your spouse with becoming fully
alive. For more resources and information visit www.marriagefullyalive.com. Also be sure to check out
our blog to hear more from us at www.simplemarriage.net
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God Bless,
Marriage
Fully Alive® |
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