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News and Notes!
An audio version of Dr.
Allan's discussion of Experiencing a Marriage Fully Alive is now available.
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Greetings,
Welcome to
Spring. In Texas, while a few weeks ago we had snow, this week it's in
the 70's. This is the best time to be living here. Playing outside with
the kids. Opening up the house. I love it!
There are
some great things going on at Marriage Fully Alive.
Audio resources
are being developed to spread the message of life and marriage more
alive. There is already one available for free. More on the way!
Plus, a few
weeks ago Pam and I were discussing my giving up Adjunct Teaching in
order to focus more time on writing. Since God is faithful and
intriguing, wouldn't you know that out of the blue, a publisher
contacted me and is going to publish my Dissertation! I also have
contributed to a Family Therapy textbook due out in 2009. Plus, I have
an EBook coming out within a week.
What a week
it's been! Glad you are here with us.
Keep
exploring!
Corey
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Tips
to keep the marriage rockin'!
Each week
there will be some tips, suggestions, or ideas intended to help keep
your marriage rockin'.
This week's
tip:
Go hiking together. Even if you live
in the city.
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The Simple
Answer to a Lasting Marriage
With the divorce rate continuing to hover around 50%, divorce has
become more and more commonplace. If your marriage becomes too much
work or is too difficult or if you are not happy enough, get a divorce.
My opinion of this idea: why take the easy way out?
Marriage is work. Marriage is struggle. But then again, any close
relationship is. And for that matter, anything of value in life is.
There are times when I have been asked "what makes a marriage last?"
"What's the secret to a lasting marriage?" The answer is actually
simple (simple is not to be confused with easy).
Before I divulge the answer, let's tackle a few marriage myths.
Thanks to popular press and Hollywood, the work involved in marriage is
poorly displayed. Many people seem to think that marriage will be a
lifelong romantic escapade along the shore at sunset before returning
home for the nightly passionate adventure enveloped in silk sheets with
your lover. I know you've bought into this idea somewhat if you can
easily complete this phrase: "and they all lived..."
The honeymoon is over, morning breath has set in, your partner sees you
for who you are, plus you see your partner more for who they are. You
realize that marriage requires more of you. The dream of marriage has
been replaced with the reality of marriage. You and your spouse don't
see eye to eye on everything. You've slept on the couch at least once
in your married life. There has been a roller coaster of feelings.
Close. Distant. Passion. Boredom. Joy. Sadness.
When you get right down to it, marriage is not about happiness.
Marriage is about two people growing up and becoming better humans.
Nowhere else are we faced with the task of growth more than marriage.
So what's the secret to making marriage last? Two people who choose to
stay married. That's it.
Marriage is choice. Choice of partner, choice of self, choice of
growth, even choice of passion and adventure.
While this may at first appear simplistic, it should be. When you view
what's going on in your marriage as a process for growth and
experiencing more in life, it makes the choice simple.
Most of the time, we focus on our partner and our desire for them to
change or do something different. This is focusing on something we
can't control. If we decide to grow, do something different, change the
things we don't like about ourselves, we take charge of our own life as
well as our relationship.
With everything that happens to us in life and love, how you view it
will determine the outcome. When you have times of disagreement, could
it really be a time to grow closer? Or a time to understand more about
your spouse? When you feel your partner pulling away, maybe it's an
opportunity to engage your partner in a better way.
For more information on this idea, look for The Simple
Marriage Matrix, coming soon!
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The marriage fully
alive team is here to assist you and your spouse with becoming fully
alive. For more resources and information visit www.marriagefullyalive.com. Also be sure to check out
our blog to hear more from us at www.simplemarriage.net.
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God Bless,
Marriage
Fully Alive® |
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