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News and Notes!
Resources are being created
in order to assist you and your spouse in the process of having a
marriage fully alive. Be sure to check them out here!
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Greetings,
Happy
Mother's Day to all our mothers this Sunday.
Welcome
to all our new readers. The word is spreading and you are the reason.
Thanks for telling others about our little adventure.
The
Man Up Series is in full swing at The Simple Marriage Project.
The Woman Up Series will be starting in the coming weeks. If you
haven't checked out the blog, you need to. There are some exciting
things happening over there.
On
a personal note, I just returned from my grandmother's funeral. She was
a wonderful lady. She died one month and a day after her husband of 70
years. What a testimony both their lives were. My life has been richly
blessed because of them.
Corey
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Tips
to keep the marriage rockin'!
Each week
there will be some tips, suggestions, or ideas intended to help keep
your marriage rockin'.
This week's
tip:
Spend a quiet morning with your
spouse talking or listening to good music.
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21 Day
Complaint Free Marriage Experiment... Finito!
On Friday last week I hit the 21 day mark without complaining,
criticizing, or gossiping. Going 21 days without vocalizing any of
these three would be easy, right? It took me almost 3 months before I
was able to complete the task.
To get all the details about the premise, check out the original
post as well as the follow
up post.
Now that this is complete, here's what I discovered along the way.
- Complaints
are everywhere about everything. Everywhere I went there were
things to complain about, and often people were doing just that. It
seems that many people are not happy with their life.
- What
exactly is a complaint. This question was the source of a lot
of comical discussions with my wife and other friends. There were many
times spent calling each other out for a statement or comment. After
all the discussions, we finally came up with this definition; a
complaint is going beyond a discussion of facts to the point of talking
about something with someone uninvolved and in most case unable to be
involved. I heard a great comment about complaining, it's like sitting
in a rocking chair, it feels good and you think you are getting
something done, but you don't end up going anywhere.
- Offer
suggestions. While this may seem like a bit of a loop hole,
offering a suggestion after discussing the facts of something is a way
to keep from complaining. It is also a hard thing to do. Doing so means
you are taking responsibility for your role in the issue. When you get
down to the core of the problem, you most likely played a role in its
creation. Step up and take charge of your part. It will resolve things
much faster.
- Criticizing
is too easy. I have a fairly sarcastic attitude and nature.
Many times, this was a veiled way to criticize. It kept me from
speaking truthfully about things. It also was the number one reason I
had to start over so many times during this experiment.
- Gossip
harms everyone. Most people seem fascinated with the lives of
others. Don't believe me? Look through your TV guide and count up the
number of news magazine shows, talk shows, reality shows and otherwise
useless shows. Rather than being concerned about watching other people
live and discussing whatever they are doing, live your own life. Follow
some of your dreams. Live on purpose.
- Take
action. This is the answer to many things in life. Fear,
doubt, worry. It also applies to complaining. Rather than complaining
about something, do something about it. Address the issue with the
person involved. Seek to resolve the problem. Stand up and tell them
what you think in a constructive manner. It is how we can take charge
of our life.
So what's
next? I have kicked around the idea of trying this again only this time
as a couple. When one of us falls, we both start over. My wife's
response to this: you'll spend all your time complaining about me since
I can't ever seem to get past day one (sorry honey for throwing you
under the bus).
Another idea is a 21 day service to others experiment. The premise is
the same only this time some act of service must be done for someone
else for 21 days in a row. This has the potential for some interesting
discussion as well. Is it service to someone else if we are really
doing it for the response we get in return? Are there really any true
acts of service, no strings attached?
If you have yet to attempt the 21 day complaint free marriage
experiment, I encourage you to try it. It's worth the effort and you
will notice a difference in your thoughts and attitudes throughout the
process.
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The marriage fully
alive team is here to assist you and your spouse with becoming fully
alive. For more resources and information visit www.marriagefullyalive.com. Also be sure to check out
our blog to hear more from us at www.simplemarriage.net
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God Bless,
Marriage
Fully Alive® |
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